


A Clean Slate

by ArchangelLoki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:05:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchangelLoki/pseuds/ArchangelLoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was alone. Everyone had perished in the attempt to quell the Apocalypse. But Death had a solution. Little did Dean know there would be consequences for his selfish actions.<br/>And now his Angel is no longer his, but can Dean get the memories to slip through for just long enough to claim back his lover from the Demon's grasp?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Do It!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is pretty much my first FanFiction that I've ever put anywhere other than my own corrupt mind. It is a work in progress and I will do my best to update regularly and increase chapter length as I go. Reviews and comments would be greatly appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcome.  
> Enjoy!

Everyone was dead. Sam was gone, trapped in the cage with Lucifer as long as time could continue. Gabe had died fighting for their freedom. Castiel had disappeared, again. Okay, so he did that a lot, but this time, something seemed different, more final. Dean had nothing. Everything was gone, and everyone had left.  
"I told you I wouldn't stand for your insolence." The monotone voice pieced the deafening silence, a desolate chill filling the air. Death was stood peering over Dean's shoulder, a slow grin spreading over his skeletal face. Dean couldn't even bear to face the creature, who had taken his life straight out from under him in a flash of an eye.  
"I can bring them back, you know?" He didn't know. Dean looked up slowly, his heart aching from the sudden loss of his entire world. He had never done anything to offend Death. Okay, so he had been Saved far too many times, being dragged back out from the scalding confines of hell by his angel, but that wasn't an offence, was it?  
"Do it. Don't ask questions, don't tell me again, just do it." The screech that pierced the air was mortifying. It sounded like a thousand angels calling at the top of their lungs (wait, do those things even use lungs?).

The room smelt musty. It was too hot and it was too dusty. Texas.  
Dean opened his eyes slowly, hand tensing on the hand gun hidden under his pillow, loaded and ready to shoot. He could hear someone sat at the table in the shabby motel room, but it couldn't be him. He was gone.  
He sat up sharply, gun pointed at the shaggy haired man sat at the table.  
"Whoa dude, what the hell?!" Sam jumped back away from the table, hands raised in surrender. Dean lowered his gun from his brother, setting it into the back of his jeans, standing cautiously as he walked over to the centre of the room.  
"You're… alive?" Death had done it. No strings, no catches, just, perfection. Wait. Something still wasn't right about this scene.  
"Of course I'm alive, what the hell did you…" Sam couldn't even finish his sentence.  
"Where's Cas?" Dean's voice was deadly serious, so Sam decided not to try mess with him.  
"You mean Castiel? He's with Meg." Sam looked worryingly at his brother.  
"Meg?!" Dean grabbed his gun and checked the mag before loading it. "The scheming bitch is alive?"  
"Why do you seem to think everyone is dead, lately? Meg's fine. She's always been fine. And why are you suddenly so concerned about her and Castiel? Unless you're forgetting you're the one that encouraged him to ask her out?"  
Dean's whole heart shattered. He…Cas wasn't his…Death. Death would pay for this.

He had given them back, but Dean would rather be dead than admit the loss of his angel. This wasn't real. This was all a trick. Gabriel. He was doing this.  
"Ha, very funny Gabe… But I think it's time this game ends now, don't you?" Light ruffles of feathers made Dean's heart skip a beat and he span on his heels in hopes of finding his lover. He couldn't have found anyone worse.  
"What's funny and why aren't I involved?" The playful smirk crossed the Trickster/Pagan God/Archangel's face as he crossed the room to stand in front of Dean. Great, so he was alive. That's just what I need, Dean thought to himself.  
"Hey, I resent that." Gabriel's smile flashed across his face as he hopped over to Sam and perched himself on his lap. "Hey kiddo." He reached his hands to the younger Winchester's chin and tilted his head down and stole a soft kiss. Dean chuckled softly to himself and mumbled I knew it under his breath.


	2. Shut Up, Meg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death left a wall. But can Dean break through without possibly destroying any hope he had of ever gaining his angel back? Castiel seems happy. He is desperately in love with Meg, or so it appears. But cracks are showing, and little pieces of Dean are there to fill the memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely improving! As before, reviews and comments are welcome and greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

Dean couldn't deal with all the lovey-dovey crap Gabriel and his brother were spewing out in their motel room, so he took his leave before he was some third wheel in a budget porno. He shuddered at the unstoppable though that ran through his corrupt mind. He dug through his pocket for the address Sam had given him before Gabe had his full attention.  
343 Mitchel Avenue,  
Bayside,  
Texas.

Dean did not want to face this. Things were bad enough just knowing that Cas was in the hands of some slimy, two-faced, psychopathic demon bitch without actually seeing it for himself. Dean had never even noticed that Cas had ever had feeling for women, let alone Meg. From his records, he wasn't even sure the two of them had even met before.  
But then again, Death didn't need a reason to mess up Dean's life at any given stage. He was sure Death did it just for kicks, for something to laugh at when he wasn't escorting souls to their respective locations. Dean knew first hand that doing so wasn't the bundle of laughs he had expected it to be.  
The house just seemed so… Normal. It didn't look as if it housed angels and demons that is if they were even still these creatures. But as Dean approached the house, he saw the faint warding symbols through the windows, pretty much sealing the deal on their supernatural past. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what was going to be the worst sight imaginable.  
"I can do this. It isn't that bad, I had him before, and I can get him back. He doesn't really love Meg. I mean… Dammit Cas..." The abrupt flutter of wings threw Dean off his trail of thought as he slowly turned to face his former lover. He couldn't breathe.

Castiel hadn't changed. No matter what Death had really done, his angel really was still his angel. Nothing could have changed so much that he couldn't win him back. He'd done it before. Hell, when he had met Castiel, he didn't even understand the concept of gender, let alone the relations between them.  
"What's the matter, Dean? You thought my name, is there something you wish to say?" Cas tilted his head in the trademark fashion that had always made Dean weak in the knees. He looked so peaceful and innocent and relaxed, something Dean hadn't seen a while since the coming of the apocalypse. He had always tried to relax Castiel but to no avail. But now, it was as if nothing had ever happened. He just looked so… Happy.  
Dean sighed, knowing it wouldn't be right to try and steal Cas away from his new happy life, but he just didn't like the thought of carrying on without his angel by his side.  
"Er, nothing Cas, don't worry." A look of confusion spread across the angel's face as he looked up to meet Dean's eyes.  
"Cas. That is a shortening of my name. Like a nickname." A smile spread across his face as if memories were slowly breaking through, but Death would not have been so kind as to leave any trace of their romance in Castiel's head. Dean chuckled softly, remembering the same conversation almost two years ago.  
"Yeah, it is. It's just, easier to say in a hurry, yunno? Less formal." They were interrupted from their discussion by the sound of the door opening.

"Castiel, I told you I HATE it when you do that damn po…" Meg stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes flicking to black almost instantly as the sight of the Winchester, crouching slightly like a cheetah getting ready to pounce. Dean jumped back almost like a dance, moving in perfect symmetry as he pulled the Angel Blade from his jacket, stalking around Meg on their front porch. Castiel stood between them before either of them got the chance to strike.  
"Why are you at each other's throats? Neither of you have done a thing to cause alarm or worry." He clicked his fingers and the Angel Blade was missing from Dean's grasp, now firmly in the hand of the Angel.  
"Interesting. Where did you get this?" Dean stuttered. He honestly couldn't remember how he had obtained that specific blade. Was it Ruby..? Meg? He couldn't remember, so he went with the first thing that popped into his head.  
"Sam found it. He gave it to me, as I'm better with hand to hand combat." He shot a glance at Meg and winked, a half smirk creeping across his face as she hissed in his direction. She rolled her eyes as she turned, strolling back inside, no longer wary of the unarmed hunter. I could still take you, bitch, Dean mumbled under his breath, pleased when she suddenly turned to stare at him, his threat clearly taking her by surprise. She turned on her heels and stormed up to be right in the hunters face, hissing her words;  
"You better watch it, Winchester. I may not have a reason to kill you, but that doesn't mean I won't. Don't turn your back. Always pay attention."  
"Shut up, Meg." Dean smirked as the Demon spat her words into his face and stropped away again. He took his Angel Blade back from Cas' grasp now the demon was surely out of reach. But if I threw it hard enough... Dean stopped the thought before Castiel could steal the blade again.  
"You really shouldn't provoke her, Dean." Castiel was still stood by Dean's side, staring at the door. He started to walk back toward his house when Dean grabbed his arm, holding him in place. That's when he noticed.  
Castiel was still wearing the engagement ring.

Dean didn't know when Death had reset things to. He didn't know if the apocalypse was still on the cards or if everything was set to peaceful. But Cas still had his ring.  
"Cas, where did you get this?" Dean held up Cas' arm, indicating the ornate silver band circling his ring finger. Castiel looked down at it, smiling softly to himself.  
"I don't know. I've always had it. I don't remember when it first appeared, but I haven't been able to bring myself to take it off. It's like… It's a part of me." He smiled widely to himself, looking as if he was suddenly lost in thought… Or a memory.  
He turned on his heels without even a proper goodbye, just waving his hand slightly in Cas' direction as he rushed back to the Impala, almost throwing himself into the seat before starting the dusty drive back to the motel.

Dean knew Death had given him a chance. He was going to win back his angel if it was the death of him.


	3. Chapter 3- Easy, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death didn't take away Castiel's memories. He just hid them away in a practically unbreakable wall in Castiel's head. All Dean had to do, was break down a wall inside an angels head.   
> But with Meg always clinging to her angel lover, getting close enough to Cas to force him to remember wasn't going to be as simple as Dean had thought.   
> And breaking such a big wall with a lot of history may have more consequences than Death had revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for the views so far! Chapters are starting to get a little more spread apart due to uni commitments but don't worry, I'm not gone!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter as I'm not sure whether or not I'm pleased with how the story progressed here, but I'll get back on top of my drastically out of hand story line as soon as possible!  
> Enjoy!

He knew he wouldn't have much time. Gabriel had taken Sam God knew where, to do God knows what (In fact, Dean knew exactly what; he just didn't want to think about it). Summoning spells never were a strong point of Deans. Or it may have been those they would summon just weren't cooperative with the situation. He didn't imagine Death was going to be overly pleased to see him. That was the understatement of the year.  
"Let me go, or I will kill everyone I brought back, one by one, and I will make sure you have to watch." Death spat the words at the older Winchester, pacing within the summons.  
"Whoa there, big fella. I don't need you to do anything. I just have one question." Death rolled his eyes, him impatience growing clearer as the room began to turn dark around him.  
"Let me guess. This is about your little feathered friend. It always was." Death smirked, pacing slowly across the confines of the room, knowing full well what questions Dean had in store for him, but choosing to play dumb.  
"Tell me what he remembers." Dean wasn't in the mood for the games Death had in mind before he would be told the truth. He needed to know what his angel could remember, and if there was any way for the memories to be restored.  
"I reset the clock. He remembers nothing." Dean's heart sank. He appeared so tough on the outside, but the loss of his angel destroyed him inside.  
"But…" Death smiled to himself, knowing Dean wasn't making eye contact with the monster. Dean looked up slowly to see the smile smeared across the skeletal face of Death.  
"I didn't remove anything. It's all still there, hiding behind a decorative little wall with your name scribbled all over it. All you have to do is break it." He smirked as his form disappeared, the sudden crack in the trap laid for him screamingly obvious to Dean.  
"Dammit…"  
So his history with the angel still remained, it was just hidden from conscious thought. All he had to do was break down a wall… inside an angel's head. Yep, great, easy, Dean thought to himself as he fell face first onto his bed, just as Sam and Gabriel snapped back into existence, laughing too loudly for it to be sane.

"I told you not to do it!" Sam could barely speak from laughing, almost doubled over on the floor, Gabriel's piercing snicker painful to Dean's already throbbing head.  
"No, you said I shouldn't do it. Not the same, Samsquatch." The hysterical laughter from his kid brother and pain-in-the-ass angel bitch was starting to get on Dean's nerves more than he could rationalise. Of course, the loud noises when a headache was brewing was bad enough, but seeing your kid brother hopelessly in love with a celestial being as you once were was tipping Dean off the deep end, jealousy threatening to bubble over if they didn't pack it in.  
"What the hell did you do this time, ass?" Dean's voice was muffled by the pillows, barely audible by human senses, but Gabriel wasn't human and just burst into hysterics again. Dean was about ready to kill him when he finally decided to share his "hilarious" story.  
"Well, you know how the Mona Lisa always looks so damn grumpy? Well, I thought I'd change it, for the better of course." Sam was now on the floor, curled up in absolute hysterics and Dean was pretty sure he was now chocking to death on his own saliva.  
"Dude, you sound like a wounded hippo, shut the hell up already." Dean snapped at his younger brother, getting the attention of both Sam and Gabriel. They looked at him with furrowed brows, their expressions practically ideal. Dean still hadn't moved his head from being buried in his pillows and had no intention of moving again until he had a plan.  
"What's the matter with you, grumpy guts?" Before Dean could look up, Gabriel had skipped over to the bed and jumped up next to him, sitting by his head with his legs crossed, Sam now sitting in the chair across the room, face still laced with concern for his usually pretty sedate brother. Dena's entire body tensed at the archangel sitting so damn close to him, his hands curling into fists as Gabriel started to bounce slightly on the bed, trying to get Dean's attention.  
"You wouldn't believe me." Dean laughed into the pillow, the sound turning into a strangled groan as he remembered himself what he was dealing with. Gabe tilted his head slightly, prying ever so slightly into Dean's mind, seeing everything he could remember, the alternate reality that now ceased to exist.  
"Oh..." Gabriel put his hand on Dean's shoulder, knowing the strong man was now completed vulnerable, completely out of character and just plain broken. The hunter didn't react to the touch of the archangel despite the sudden shock it gave his skin, as if the wrong wire was connected somewhere and it sent dangerous sparks across a room. That's when Sam realised something was very wrong. Dean never could stand Gabriel. He put up with him for Sam, but human contact wasn't Dean's thing, and angel contact was even further down the list.

Dean didn't move the rest of the day, nor did Gabriel ever leave the bed with him, as if scared he was going to do something stupid (which Dean definitely had a habit of doing in desperate times). Sam still didn't know what was going on a Gabriel had deemed it a need to know problem for now, until Dean was willing to ask for their help, or started to risk his life for this. But Gabriel had made the mistake of forgetting Sam and he had arranged to meet with Castiel and Meg, to try and get Meg to stop attempting to kill the Winchesters out of spite. The knock on the motel room door was an unwelcome reminder of their arrangement.  
"Shit." Gabriel's whole body froze the realisation that his brother was the other side of the door with a murderous demon and where was an emotionally unstable Winchester face down on the bed that wasn't going to move if the world ended, again. Dean groaned again into his pillow, the only sign of life he had shown for hours and it wasn't a reassuring one.

Gabriel jumped up, trying to grab a marker pen to draw an angel warding symbol on the wall to keep his brother away, but he never had the chance. The flutter of wings made Dean's whole body freeze, like a small animal playing dead in the presence of a predator.  
"That isn't a very funny joke, Gabriel." Cas' voice hurt. The archangel shot a glance in the direction of Dean, who no longer looked as if he was breathing, so he sent a small electric shock through his body, causing a muffled insult from the Winchester, reassuring Gabe of Dean's consciousness.  
Castiel walked slowly to the door, unlocking the many locks to allow Meg inside, scraping his foot though the UV demon trap painted on the floor. She walked around the trap nevertheless, refusing to step foot inside, despite it being broken by Castiel. She walked to his side and clung on to his hand. Not very much scared Meg, but she was always cautious around Gabriel. She had heard the stories of his little games, and she had no intention of ever taking part. Just as she clung to the angel, Sam walked through the door, gun aimed and ready, a knee-jerk response from the hunter at seeing his motel room door left open. He let his gun drop as soon as his eyes met those staring at him from inside.  
"Well shit."


	4. Chapter 4- Let It Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean was slowly starting to break through the wall, but the true cost was staring to show; Castiel's sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!   
> Working on getting to a main twist in the road, courtesy of Death himself, of course!  
> Enjoy and thank you for everything!  
> (Bracketed text is thoughts, since the angels can pry into human thoughts.)

Meg wasn't much in the mood for talking, which pretty much defeated the object of her being there in the first place. She was called there to make peace with the Winchesters for everyone's sake, including hers as if she lay on finger on Sam, Gabriel would have endless fun making her live a living hell. Castiel shot Gabriel a warning glance as he smirked to himself, thinking of the various ways he could condemn the demon to a lifetime of eternal solitude and misery.  
"I don't wish to make peace with them, Castiel." Meg was speaking as if her and Cas were the only ones in the room, ignoring the near-death Dean still flopped out over the entire bed, Gabriel stood by his side, or the dumb struck Sam still stood near the now closed door of the motel room. Dean was already sick of hearing her voice, weighing out the pros and cons to killing her this very second, only for his thought to be cut short by Gabriel, kindly reminding him that   
(Castiel can hear exactly what I can, and would probably kill you before you could even move, sorry kiddo.) Dean whined into the pillow, once again committing to his extended period of inactivity.

Castiel never took his eyes off of Dean. He didn't know why, and he could feel Meg's gaze burning holes into his skull as she spoke to him and got absolutely no response. Sam still had no clue what was going on with his brother, but very slowly snuck around from behind Meg and Castiel to sit on his own bed, Gabriel stood between them, his stance shifting from casual to defensive as soon as Sam was behind him. That was the tipping point for Meg.  
"FINE. I'll leave your precious Winchester's alone." She spat out their name like it was poison to her, turning on her heels and storming out of their hotel room, slamming the door behind her, leaving Castiel still stood staring in the room. He was completely absent from the room in mind, his body stood lifeless, still staring at Dean, who was once again showing absolutely zero signs of life, apart from occasionally flipping Gabriel off for the small electric shocks to ensure life.

Gabe had noticed that Castiel was still milling around in their room, now having taken a seat on the small table by the window, staring out of it mindlessly, not having spoken a word since Meg's departure. The archangel started to worry. Since the beginning of their time together, he had never seen Castiel be silent more than about 10 seconds, and he hadn't spoken for over an hour.  
"Castiel?" Gabriel walked over to the other angel carefully, like approaching a small animal and trying not to spook it into running away. Castiel still didn't respond, or as much as twitch at the mention of his name. Dean had regained consciousness from his lifeless sleep, sitting up slightly as he heard Gabriel speaking. Sam had gone out, probably on a food run as they had been living off of pork scratchings, candy bars and beer for the best part of the week. Dean rubbed his eyes, letting them focus on Gabriel and Castiel, now only inches apart, but Cas still wouldn't move. Dean sent out the mental note toward Gabriel, trying to keep it masked from prying ears.  
(What's up with Cas?) Dean couldn't help but sound worried, he had had over a year to bond with his angel in the alternative dimension. Even here, he was still his.  
(I wish I knew. Since Meg went home, he hasn't moved. Or spoken. Or really done anything apart from sit and stare out of the window.) Gabe sighed, walking back to Sam's bed and laying back, flicking the TV on and searching though the channels without once setting his hands on the conventional remote. Dean stretched, causing a series of loud clicks to run down his spine and neck. Castiel span around instantly, staring at the hunter with wide eyes. Dean looked back, eyes equally wide, deciding it best not to speak until Cas did.

"D..Dean? Are you okay?" Castiel stood up slowly, walking swiftly toward Dean, running his hand along his newly aligned spine. Dean closed his eyes, grateful just to have the touch of his angel back, even if it meant nothing to him.  
"Yeah Cas, I'm great." Dean smiled widely, leaning his head back slightly to look up at Cas, moving forward slightly, closing the gap between their faces, ignorant to the archangel still in the room. Castiel leaned forward, mimicking the movements of the hunter, as if they had done it a thousand times before. And before either of them really knew what they were doing, their lips had met, softly at first, but growing more needy as Dean knelt up, levelling himself with Cas who was now stood over him, hands grasping the sides of his neck tightly, as Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist just as tightly. Cas let out a soft sigh as their bodies moulded together, bricks of the wall crumbling to allow the memories through, convincing himself that this was okay. But it wasn't.  
"Dammit Cas…" Dean opened his eyes as he realised he was suddenly clutching at thin air, having been the victim of another angel disappearing act. Gabriel chuckled softly to himself, leant against the furthest wall of the room, as not to ruin the moment.  
"Don't even start asshole." Gabe raised his arms in surrender, his face now serious, watching the sudden change in attitude from the hunter.  
"You really do love him…" Dean groaned heavily and dropped his entire weight onto the bed, which probably would have broken without the presence of the attentive angel. He mumbled various cuss words into the pillow, dreading when Sam got back, having to finally explain why no one could look at each other and why Castiel most definitely could NOT come back to the room.  
"I'll help you. I owe you that much." Gabriel took his place sat next to Dean on his bed, his hand rested on the shoulder of the hunter. For the first time since they met, the Trickster and the Hunter had finally formed some form of weird, twisted friendship.  
"But first… We really need to tell Sammy." The noise that followed from Dean was barely human, a noise of utter defeat and resignation from all hope he had of maintaining a shred of his dignity.

(This is gonna suck…)  
(You said it, Deano.)


	5. There is Hope Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone was starting to lose it.  
> Meg and Castiel could see things that weren't "real" and Gabriel was reliving his death every second.
> 
> But Dean knew there still had to be hope for the lot of the.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! This has been long in the making for quite an anti-climatic chapter! I hope you enjoy it, feel free to leave feedback!
> 
> I do apologize for the long postings as Uni has now started.

Castiel was starting to have enough of these stupid visions. He was starting to doubt his own memory, and that simply meant no one was safe around him.  
“Meg, I mean it. I’ll come back, but I need to figure this all out first. I could never hurt you.” He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and was gone before she could even say goodbye. She huffed loudly and slumped back on the sofa, closing her eyes, letting herself drift into the closest form of sleep she could manage.

“I said, leave them alone!” Meg threw herself at the demon, the blade sinking deep through her chest as she started to choke on her own blood.  
“And I said back off, little girl.” The figure cackled as it faded to black, Meg gasping for air that wasn’t coming… She was going to die. But she wasn’t dead. She was asleep. This wasn’t right.  
So jolted upright from her sleep-like trance, panting heavily, looking around frantically. Nothing was making sense anymore. 

Dean had almost gotten himself killed, again. Gabriel was starting to have enough of healing his sorry ass every time he “forgot” to pay attention to the various monstrous psychopaths with their names on their lists. He wasn’t himself. Sam was starting to think he never would be again.  
“They were really close, weren’t they?” Sam led back, watching his brother drive off God knows where, leaving him and Gabriel watching pointless TV in the scabby motel room.  
“I can’t even begin to explain what they had. It wasn’t just love. It was... Everything. They quite literally were everything to one another.” Gabriel sighed softly, knowing exactly how Dean felt.  
“Dean can remember everything?”  
“Yes.”  
“He saw us all... die?” Sam stuttered the last word, refusing to believe that he had just walked away from Death. Again. Gabriel stretched out his entire body, a slight breeze surrounding him as his invisible wings settled back into place against his body, letting his entire body relax.  
“Yes.” Gabriel closed his eyes, remembering the feeling of the angel blade piercing his rib cage, but the feeling of victory knowing his Winchester was safe. He could only imagine how Deano was dealing with all of this hell. 

Sam had fallen asleep and Gabriel was as close to sleep as an angel could get when there was a distinct flutter of wings in the room. Gabriel had forgotten just how fast his reactions were concerning Sam, but he was stood between Sam and the intruding sound in less than a second, poised ready for a full blown attack. Cas didn’t even bother to speak, simply walking past Gabriel and collapsing on the bed.  
“I don’t wish to speak about it, I just wish to lie here for a while. Do not start, Gabriel.” Gabriel flung his arms up in mock surrender, taking the seat next to Sam’s bed.  
“Have you figured anything out yet?” Gabriel was speaking softly, letting himself get distracted by stroking his fingers through Sam’s soft hair, clueless of the discomfort this was causing his brother.  
“Not that I understand. I see things that haven’t happened, and say things that aren’t correct.” Cas held his head in his hands, until he sat bolt upright, suddenly noticing what had been bugging him since his arrival.  
“Where is Dean?” Gabriel shrugged, and tilted his head toward the door.  
“He left about two hours ago. He wasn’t in a friendly mood so I left him to it. He’s a big boy, he can care for…” And Cas was gone. 

Dean wasn’t okay. He could act better than anybody, but he was not doing well this time. He sat with his legs cross over the edge of the cliffside, looking out across the entire plane ahead of him. It hadn’t meant to be like this. Things were meant to go back to normal. Everyone would be alive and happy. Not completely turned upside down. Dean scoffed to himself, realising it was truthfully his fault for not thinking though the deal. He never even asked a single question. He was too selfish.  
“Caring is not selfish.” The mystery voice nearly caused the older Winchester to jump out of skin and straight off the cliff, but the familiarity of it kept him firmly on the ground.  
“Hey Cas. I guess you still don’t really know what happened?” Cas shook his head, leaning against the hood of the Impala, thick with dirt and sand. Castiel noted that this wasn’t normal either. The Impala had never been anything less than pristine when he had seen it, now Dean couldn’t care less. 

They sat in silence for almost an hour, neither of them having the words to discuss what was happening; why Dean was out of character and why Castiel could see an alternate reality. That is, until Death reared his ugly head.  
“You are as stubborn as I believed, Winchester.” The smirk that crossed his face made them both sick to their stomach, Castiel instantly standing between Death and Dean without the knowledge as to why.  
“How sweet. He still protects you and he doesn’t even know why. How loyal. Like a puppy.” Dean snarled at the last comment, pushing Cas back to square up to Death.  
“This isn’t funny. What you did was not what I asked.”  
“Oh, but it is. You wanted them alive. They are alive. For now.” And he was gone again.  
Dean’s entire body was tense, his breathing laboured, his face grey. Castiel turned slowly, looked up and down the hunter’s ragged form, tilting his head softly to one side, closing the gap between them.  
“I remember…” He took the sides of Dean’s face gently in his hands a placed a gentle kiss against his lips, never once moving his arms as Dean wrapped his around Cas, bringing him closer. 

That was all Dean needed. Just a glimmer of hope.


End file.
